Wednesday, June 22, 2011

All that glitters is not gold, it's also Michele Bachmann

A protester threw glitter on Michele Bachmann when she defended her stand against gay rights. I was appalled. That glitter would have looked a lot better on some unemployed drag queen.

After Michele Bachmann got pelted with glitter for defending her stand against gay rights, she said, "I don't need this! But, I could use some fashion tips and a way better hair cut."

If Michele Bachmann gets elected president, her inauguration parties are going to be boring. With her extremist views, there's no way she'll let revelers have a gay old time.

During the GOP debate, possible presidential contender Tim Pawlenty said he would support a constitutional amendment "to define marriage between a man and a woman." His wife said, "That proves it takes an act of Congress to get him to listen to me."

Republican Herman Cain says if he's elected president, he doesn't want a Muslim in his administration. I think he said this to save face because he has yet to meet a Muslim who wants to work in his administration.

Although Sarah Palin had a reality show and works for FOX, she knows as much about television as she knows about American history. I understand she thinks "The Flintstones" is a documentary.

Bristol Palin is writing her memoirs. The book will include a how-to chapter from her experience on "Dancing with the Stars." It begins, "Put your right foot in, put your right foot out, put your right foot in and shake it all about."

Hugh Hefner's 24-year-old girlfriend had a change of heart about marrying the 85-year-old Playboy Magazine publisher. She contended he's not ready to settle down yet because he hasn't dated all the Kardashians.

An Emperor penguin from Antarctica somehow took a wrong turn and ended up in New Zealand. Had he been a female penguin this wouldn't have happened. She would have stopped to ask for directions.

The penguin later told reporters he really wasn't lost. He was simply taking a stroll on the beach after attending the premier of "Mr. Popper's Penguins."