When the Democratic Convention kicked off, President Obama was trailing slightly behind Mitt Romney in popularity polls. The president said, "Well if I'm behind him, he'd have to be a contortionist to stab me in the back."
Some TV critics contend that people aren't interested in America's future or more people would have watched the opening night of the Democratic Convention. If youth are our future, people do care because millions tuned in to watch "Honey Boo Boo."
Some Democrats are circulating a petition to get Betty White to speak at the convention. She said she usually stays out of political battles. But she's thinks it would be cool to go to Charlotte because right now, she's "Hot in Cleveland".
The Social Security Administration recently purchased 174,000 hollow-point bullets. Agency leaders said 173,999 of the bullets are for the 295 agents who investigate Social Security fraud. The other bullet is for Barney Fife.
NASA scientists said that after 35 years, Voyager 1 is on the edge of the solar system and on the verge of heading for the stars. The scientists said the reason it is taking so long is because Los Angeles traffic backs up for years near Tom Cruise's house.
Voyager 1 was launched 35 years ago with 68 kilobytes of computer memory. It also is equipped with an eight-track tape player that features David Bowie's "Space Oddity".
A man in Darien, New York, tried to swallow counterfeit $50 bills after he was caught trying to use one of the bills to buy French Fries. Talk about put your money where your mouth is.
September 5 is National Be Late for Something Day. Well, it's actually September 4. We're just celebrating September 5 so we can be late for something.
I was thinking of having chicken cacciatore for dinner, but I don't know how to catch a tory.
FYI, possums run pretty darn fast unless they're playing possum.
SEE ME LIVE
SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 29 - 6:30 PM
Private Show - Million Laughs
Joseph House
Santa Ana, CA
** To book Million Laughs Clean Comedy Troupe for your event, contact Will Morton at http://www.Millionlaughs.com
SATURDAY, OCTOBER 13 - 8:30 PM
Private Show – Million Laughs
Substance Abuse Foundation
Long Beach, CA
** To book Million Laughs Clean Comedy Troupe for your event, contact Will Morton at http://www.Millionlaughs.com
FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 16 - 8 PM
Best of L.A. Comedy Showcase
The Comedy Spot Comedy Club/Don the Beachcomber
16278 Pacific Coast Highway
Huntington Beach, CA
** DETAILS TO COME
www.Thecomedyspot.net/HB
