Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Inauguration Day party favors cost $1 million

My friend asked if I liked Starbucks. I'm thinking – of course – especially if the money belongs to George Clooney.

Someone asked if I would consider finding a date online. Personally, I'd rather get one at the farmer's market so I know it will be fresh.

Someone asked me if I thought it was OK for people to play games. I said it doesn't matter what I think because football is big business.

There is now a SmartTV that recognizes viewers and their viewing preferences. But, the set has flaws. It cannot increase the size of Kim Kardashian's IQ to match the size of her butt.

Demonstrations of the new SmartTV proved voice commands get lost in translation. But manufacturers aren't worried. They said they'll just hire translators from the South who can actually understand Honey Boo-Boo.

I like the concept of having a SmartTV. But even more, I like the concept of having a smart reality show.

The second week of January is National Letter Writing Week. I don't plan on losing any sleep trying to decide how to celebrate. I'll just start with the Zs.

Planners of President Obama's upcoming inauguration are soliciting $1 million contributions to help pay for the party. With that kind of funding, I'm pretty sure it won't be a Tea Party.

Thus far, most of the $1 million contributions for the president's inauguration party are involved in the health care industry. Their money will go for party favors – specifically the money is going to Canada where drugs are cheaper.

"American Idol" judges Mariah Carey and Nicki Minaj are said to be feuding. Rumor has it the beef involves whether fellow judge, country singer Keith Urban should change his name to Keith Rural.

I'm always getting calls from people suggesting we meet so they can get to know my money. I'd love to return the favor because I'm pretty sure I can make their money feel right at home – especially on this gorgeous home I want to buy in Beverly Hills.

SEE ME LIVE
THURSDAY, JANUARY 17 - 7:00 PM (STANDUP)
So You Think You're Funny Show
Produced by Cornelius Grant, original musical director for The Temptations
Barbara Morrison Performing Arts Center
4305 Degnan Blvd
Los Angeles, CA
**$10 cover for clean show at 7:00 PM (I'm doing the clean show only)
**$15 cover for clean show at 7:00 PM AND blue show at 10:00 PM
** No item minimum purchase required

OPENING IN JANUARY - WEDNESDAYS DATES TO COME (THEATER)
"Angel Academy" - written and directed by Chris Berube
Next Stage Theater
On La Brea just north of Sunset Blvd in Suite 208 of a shopping center with an ice cream store
** Details later - just make plans to be there for an 8 week run
*** $20 - tell them I sent you