Wednesday, April 3, 2013

If Congress only had brains

President Barack Obama asked Congress to spend $100 million for scientists to study the human brain. The president said scientists would also study brains of animals such as worms, rats and other Republicans.

The Rolling Stones are going out on tour again. However, it has been suggested they change the name of the band to The Rolling Fossils.

On April 3, 1860, the Pony Express began delivering the U.S. mail. If budget-conscious Congress members had their way, April 3, 2013, would be the last day mail got delivered.

What goes up must come down, which explains why I'm on a major diet.

Larry King has written an autobiography. His publisher predicts it will be a best seller if all of Larry's ex-wives and children buy a copy.

I'm thinking of becoming a cowboy poet. I think it would be cool to be named poet lariat.

I decided to solicit some help to do my spring cleaning this year. Specifically, I asked Bill Gates if he'd take care of my Windows.

I slept in this morning, and it kept me from doing everything on my to-do list, specifically taking a mid-morning nap.

Dieting makes me grumpy. It makes me cuss like a sailor because I just can't seem to give up that four-letter "F" word because I love food.

I'm really getting into the new age philosophy. In fact, I think 27 is a great new age.


SEE ME LIVE

TUESDAY, APRIL 9 – 9:30 PM (Theater)
"Happily Whatever After" – written and directed by Chris Berube
Next Stage Theater
1523 N La Brea
Hollywood, CA
** $20 cash only – tell them you came to see Nancy Jo
** Agents get in free by showing industry card
(Due to popularity of this show, ticket prices are now $30. However, you can get a $10 discount if you tell them you came to see Nancy Jo! Go early because seating is first come, first served. Valet parking for $3.)

SATURDAY, APRIL 13 – 2 PM (Standup)
** Private Show
Million Laughs Clean Comedy Troupe
Whittier, CA
** If you would like to hire Million Laughs Clean Comedy Troupe to perform at your event or for a fundraiser, contact Will or Yvonne Morton at will@millionlaughs.com

TUESDAY, APRIL 16 – 8 PM (Theater)
"Happily Whatever After" – written and directed by Chris Berube
Next Stage Theater
1523 N La Brea
Hollywood, CA
** $20 cash only – tell them you came to see Nancy Jo
** Agents get in free by showing industry card
(Due to popularity of this show, ticket prices are now $30. However, you can get a $10 discount if you tell them you came to see Nancy Jo! Go early because seating is first come, first served. Valet parking for $3.)

TUESDAY, APRIL 23 – 8 PM (Theater)
"Happily Whatever After" – written and directed by Chris Berube
Next Stage Theater
1523 N La Brea
Hollywood, CA
** $20 cash only – tell them you came to see Nancy Jo
** Agents get in free by showing industry card
(Due to popularity of this show, ticket prices are now $30. However, you can get a $10 discount if you tell them you came to see Nancy Jo! Go early because seating is first come, first served. Valet parking for $3.)

SATURDAY, APRIL 27 – 5 PM (STANDUP)
Fundraiser for Kaitlyn Dobrow
Chapel of Change
6701 E. Alondra
$20 Donation
** While this is a fundraiser, the public is invited
** For details http://www.giveforward.com/fundraiser/1d32/kaitlynndobrowinspireshope

TUESDAY, APRIL 30 – 8 PM (Theater)
"Happily Whatever After" – written and directed by Chris Berube
Next Stage Theater
1523 N La Brea
Hollywood, CA
** $20 cash only – tell them you came to see Nancy Jo
** Agents get in free by showing industry card
(Due to popularity of this show, ticket prices are now $30. However, you can get a $10 discount if you tell them you came to see Nancy Jo! Go early because seating is first come, first served. Valet parking for $3.)

TUESDAY, MAY 7 – 8 PM (Theater)
"Happily Whatever After" – written and directed by Chris Berube
Next Stage Theater
1523 N La Brea
Hollywood, CA
** $20 cash only – tell them you came to see Nancy Jo
** Agents get in free by showing industry card
(Due to popularity of this show, ticket prices are now $30. However, you can get a $10 discount if you tell them you came to see Nancy Jo! Go early because seating is first come, first served. Valet parking for $3.)