Wednesday, July 17, 2013

God has a divine sense of humor

Note/Disclaimer from Nancy Jo:  Who says God doesn't have a sense of humor?  I think His sense of humor is divine.  And as I recent sat back and watched my conservative and liberal friends argue the points of Biblical scripture, I was inspired to write the following one-liners.  It is not my intention to insult anyone.  I apologize in advance for doing so  because I know it is going to happen as some folks believe if people don't believe what the first group believes then the others are in disbelief and therefore disbelievers.  I cannot believe I just wrote that.  I also cannot believe it's not butter.

It has been said Satan likes to screw up relationships.  Well, I refuse to accept his help.  I can screw up relationships on my own.

When Noah and his passengers set sail on a 40-day 40-night family cruise, was that the first cruise with a Safari Night dinner theme?

I love the fact God gave Adam free reign to name wildlife.  My favorite was when Adam looked that fish in the eye and said, "Halibut be thy name."

I am so glad that God blessed Job with several children, especially his daughter named Jemima.  Otherwise, my morning pancakes would be rather bland because she wouldn't have been around to establish a syrup empire.

Some people tell me I should never question God's actions.  I just have to have faith and believe.  But I just have to ask, "Was that morning manna from Heaven gluten free?

Since it is better to give than to receive, I am now giving you an opportunity to give me $1 million.

Some Biblical characters in Genesis lived hundreds of years before they had children.  I'm thinking it's because it took centuries to travel five miles on the Hollywood freeway so they could get home to procreate.

Since some Biblical characters in Genesis lived to be hundreds of years old before they died, I'm thinking it's because Congress members weren't around to deprive them of health care.

If we are all God's children, He better hope Mrs. God doesn't divorce Him because his child support payments will be horrendous.

I want to marry a man with faith the size of a mustard seed.  Then he'll have strength to move mountains.  That means he'll also be strong enough to take out the trash.


SEE ME LIVE:


FRIDAY, JULY 19 – 11 PM (Standup)
Nancy Jo's Jokebox Fridays
Open Mic/Auditions
TreStage Theater
1523 N La Brea
Hollywood, CA
** Summer Special – Free admission
** Sign up at 10. Limited to first 10-20 performers. Acts need to be television clean.
** Bring your own snacks and beverages

SATURDAY, JULY 20  – 8 PM and 9:30 PM (Theater)
"Wonder Women" – Written and directed by Chris Berube
Next Stage Theater
1523 N La Brea
Hollywood, CA
** $20 cash only – tell them you came to see Nancy Jo
** Agents get in free by showing industry card
** Valet parking for $3-5

SUNDAY, JULY 21 – 2 PM (Standup)
Million Laughs Clean Comedy Show
** Private Show
Hillcrest Assisted Living
Long Beach, CA
** If you would like to hire Million Laughs Clean Comedy Troupe to perform at your next event, contact Will and/or Yvonne Morton at:  will@millionlaughs.com

FRIDAY, JULY 26 – 11 PM (Standup)
Nancy Jo's Jokebox Fridays
Booked Showcase
* Partial lineup includes:
     Grace Fraga
     Jones the Comedian
     Alexandra Korova
     Wanjiko Eke
     Headliner:  Brian Swinehart
TreStage Theater
1523 N La Brea
Hollywood, CA
** Summer Special – Free admission
** Sign up at 10. Limited to first 10-20 performers. Acts need to be television clean.
** Bring your own snacks and beverages

SATURDAY, JULY 27 – 8 PM and 9:30 PM (Theater)
"Wonder Women" – Written and directed by Chris Berube
Next Stage Theater
1523 N La Brea
Hollywood, CA
** $20 cash only – tell them you came to see Nancy Jo
** Agents get in free by showing industry card
** Valet parking for $3-5

FRIDAY, AUGUST 2 – 11 PM (Standup)
Nancy Jo's Jokebox Fridays
Open Mic/Auditions
TreStage Theater
1523 N La Brea
Hollywood, CA
** Summer Special – Free admission
** Sign up at 10. Limited to first 10-20 performers. Acts need to be television clean.
** Bring your own snacks and beverages

SATURDAY, AUGUST 3  – 8 PM (Theater)
"Wonder Women" – Written and directed by Chris Berube
Next Stage Theater
1523 N La Brea
Hollywood, CA
** $20 cash only – tell them you came to see Nancy Jo
** Agents get in free by showing industry card
** Valet parking for $3-5

FRIDAY, AUGUST 9 – 11 PM (Standup)
Nancy Jo's Jokebox Fridays
Open Mic/Auditions
TreStage Theater
1523 N La Brea
Hollywood, CA
** Summer Special – Free admission
** Sign up at 10. Limited to first 10-20 performers. Acts need to be television clean.
** Bring your own snacks and beverages

SATURDAY, AUGUST 10  – 8 PM (Theater)
"Wonder Women" – Written and directed by Chris Berube
Next Stage Theater
1523 N La Brea
Hollywood, CA
** $20 cash only – tell them you came to see Nancy Jo
** Agents get in free by showing industry card
** Valet parking for $3-5

FRIDAY, AUGUST 16 – 11 PM (Standup)
Nancy Jo's Jokebox Fridays
Open Mic/Auditions
TreStage Theater
1523 N La Brea
Hollywood, CA
** Summer Special – Free admission
** Sign up at 10. Limited to first 10-20 performers. Acts need to be television clean.
** Bring your own snacks and beverages

SATURDAY, AUGUST 17 – 8:30 PM (Standup)
Fundraiser for Dream Street Foundation
Knights of Columbus Hall
224 S. Sepulveda Blvd
Manhattan Beach, CA
** Open to the public
** Ticket details to come

FRIDAY, AUGUST 23 – 11 PM (Standup)
Nancy Jo's Jokebox Fridays
Booked Showcase
* Lineup to come
TreStage Theater
1523 N La Brea
Hollywood, CA
** Summer Special – Free admission
** Sign up at 10. Limited to first 10-20 performers. Acts need to be television clean.
** Bring your own snacks and beverages

SATURDAY, AUGUST 24  – 8 PM (Theater)
"Wonder Women" – Written and directed by Chris Berube
Next Stage Theater
1523 N La Brea
Hollywood, CA
** $20 cash only – tell them you came to see Nancy Jo
** Agents get in free by showing industry card
** Valet parking for $3-5

MONDAY, JANUARY 13, 2014 – 8 PM (Inspirational Speaking & Standup)
Private Event
Women Artists Network
Thousand Oaks, CA