Thursday, September 12, 2013

Just how old is dirt?

A kid just told me I was older than dirt.  He said he knew that to be a fact because Dirt is the kid's 5-year-old brother.

My friend said I should be ashamed to admit my age.  But I'm not.  I love going into restaurants and getting the senior citizen discount.

Although I'd like to think I'm still young, I did join AARP – the Anti-Arthritic Remedy Program.

It's now hip for people to go around calling older women, "Mama."  I hate that.  But grandma just won't stop.

They say God gives everyone free will.  I wish God would tell my attorney that because that lawyer tried to charge me $500 for a will.

Miley Cyrus is scheduled to host "Saturday Night Live".  The show's writers are elated.  They said they don't need to write jokes for her because her costumes are funny enough.

Rodents in the Massachusetts state capitol are chewing up senators' microphone wires and causing such a nuisance that elected officials can no longer keep candy in their desk drawers.  And all this time, I thought voters were responsible for bringing in the rats.

A U.S. Senate panel approved a measure to design a journalist.  The definition is:  "Tattletale."

If you think two heads are better than one, you obviously have a better hairdresser than Donald Trump.

Next time someone tells me it isn't in the cards, I'm going to accuse them of stacking the deck.


SEE ME LIVE


SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 14 – 8 PM (Theater)
"Wonder Women" – Written and directed by Chris Berube
Next Stage Theater
1523 N La Brea
Hollywood, CA
** $20 cash only – tell them you came to see Nancy Jo
** Agents get in free by showing industry card
** Valet parking for $3-5

SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 15 – 8 PM (Sketch and Standup)
"Sketch-Up" – Directed by Chris Berube
TreStage Theater
1523 N La Brea
Hollywood, CA
** $15 cash only – tell them you came to see Nancy Jo
** Agents get in free by showing industry card
** Valet parking for $3-5

WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 18 – 9:30 PM (Theater)
"Angel Academy" – Written and directed by Chris Berube
Next Stage Theater
1523 N La Brea
Hollywood, CA
** $20 cash only – tell them you came to see Nancy Jo
** Agents get in free by showing industry card
** Valet parking for $3-5

SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 21 – 8 PM (Theater)
"Wonder Women" – Written and directed by Chris Berube
Next Stage Theater
1523 N La Brea
Hollywood, CA
** $20 cash only – tell them you came to see Nancy Jo
** Agents get in free by showing industry card
** Valet parking for $3-5

SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 22 – 8 PM (Sketch and Standup)
"Sketch-Up" – Directed by Chris Berube
TreStage Theater
1523 N La Brea
Hollywood, CA
** $15 cash only – tell them you came to see Nancy Jo
** Agents get in free by showing industry card
** Valet parking for $3-5

WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 25 – 8 PM (Theater)
"Angel Academy" – Written and directed by Chris Berube
Next Stage Theater
1523 N La Brea
Hollywood, CA
** $20 cash only – tell them you came to see Nancy Jo
** Agents get in free by showing industry card
** Valet parking for $3-5

SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 28 – 8 PM (Theater)
"Wonder Women" – Written and directed by Chris Berube
Next Stage Theater
1523 N La Brea
Hollywood, CA
** $20 cash only – tell them you came to see Nancy Jo
** Agents get in free by showing industry card
** Valet parking for $3-5

SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 29 – 8 PM (Sketch and Standup)
"Sketch-Up" – Directed by Chris Berube
TreStage Theater
1523 N La Brea
Hollywood, CA
** $15 cash only – tell them you came to see Nancy Jo
** Agents get in free by showing industry card
** Valet parking for $3-5

WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 2 – 8 PM (Theater)
"Angel Academy" – Written and directed by Chris Berube
Next Stage Theater
1523 N La Brea
Hollywood, CA
** $20 cash only – tell them you came to see Nancy Jo
** Agents get in free by showing industry card
** Valet parking for $3-5
WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 9 – 8 PM (Theater)
"Angel Academy" – Written and directed by Chris Berube
Next Stage Theater
1523 N La Brea
Hollywood, CA
** $20 cash only – tell them you came to see Nancy Jo
** Agents get in free by showing industry card
** Valet parking for $3-5

WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 16 – 8 PM (Theater)
"Angel Academy" – Written and directed by Chris Berube
Next Stage Theater
1523 N La Brea
Hollywood, CA
** $20 cash only – tell them you came to see Nancy Jo
** Agents get in free by showing industry card
** Valet parking for $3-5

WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 23 – 8 PM (Theater)
"Angel Academy" – Written and directed by Chris Berube
Next Stage Theater
1523 N La Brea
Hollywood, CA
** $20 cash only – tell them you came to see Nancy Jo
** Agents get in free by showing industry card
** Valet parking for $3-5

SATURDAY, OCTOBER 26 – Details to come (Standup)
Million Laughs Clean Comedy Show
** PRIVATE SHOW -- Little House Recovery Home
Bellflower, CA
If you would like to hire Million Laughs Clean Comedy Troupe for your next function, contact Yvonne or Will Morton at will@millionlaughs.com

MONDAY, JANUARY 13, 2014 – 8 PM (Inspirational Speaking & Standup)
Women Artists Network
** PRIVATE SHOW
Thousand Oaks, CA